Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
