We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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