Quick, to the slutcave!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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