Whod you bang
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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