Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I party with great urgency now.
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