i barfeds in our rink
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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