Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
