I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
