I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
