I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
