she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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