I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
