My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize