drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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