i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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