Pappa wants mamma naked
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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