From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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