the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
