I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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