it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
