My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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