Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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