We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
