11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
