So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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