Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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