I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
