he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize