im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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