My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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