Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
