David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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