You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I would ride that face into the sunset
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
