I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
