Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
