No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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