I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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