i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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