I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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