we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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