I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
