well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
