absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
