dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Found your dick twin last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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