Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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