We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
