soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
