Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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