tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
