Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
