i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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