there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i believe in u and ur pee
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
