That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
