"it" just moved
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
