i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
