Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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