Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
