We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
