Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
