he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
