does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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