question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
