Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
