Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
