Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize