i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
