By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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