dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
