Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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